REGARDING GOOD CONDUCT TOWARDS ONES PARENTS
by Imaam Bukhari
Extracts from 'Saheeh al-Adab al-Mufrad' of Imaam Bukhaaree, checked by al-Albaanee.
Chapter 1: The saying of Allaah the Exalted, "and we have enjoined upon man to be good to his parents"
1/1 From Abu Umru ash-Shaibaanee who said, "The owner of this house narrated to us," and he indicated with his hand to the house of Abdullaah, that, "I asked the Prophet (SAW), 'which action is the most beloved to Allaah?' He said, 'Prayer at it's correct time'. I said, 'then which action? 'He said, 'birr (good treatment, kindness) to the parents.' I said, 'then which?' He said 'Jihaad in the way of Allaah'
Abdullaah said, "He told me these, and if I had asked further, he would have told me." Saheeh - Irwaa (1197)
2/2 From Abdullaah bin Umar who said, "The Lord is pleased when the parents are pleased, and is Angry when the parents are angry." Hasan as mawqoof, saheeh as marfoo' as-Saheehah 515
Chapter 2: Birr to the Mother
3/3 From Bahz bin Hakeem from his father from his grandfather who said, "I said, 'O Messenger of Allaah who is most deserving of my birr?' He said, 'your mother.' I said, 'who is most deserving of my birr?' He said, 'your mother.' I said, 'who is most deserving of my birr?' He said, 'your mother.' I said, 'who is most deserving of my birr?' He said, 'your father, then your closest relation, then your closest relation.'" Hasan - Irwaa (2232,829)
4/4 From Ibn Abbas, "That a man came to him and said, 'I proposed to a woman and I yearned that she marry me. Then someone else proposed to her and she desired to marry him. Then I seduced her, then killed her, so is there repentance for me?' He said, 'Is your mother alive?' He replied, 'No.' So Ibn Abbas said, 'Repent to Allaah Azza wa Jall and seek to get close to Him as much as you can."
(Ataa bin Yaaser) said, "so I went to Ibn Abbaas and asked him, 'Why did you ask if his Mother was alive?' He said, 'indeed I do not know an action which can get one closer to Allaah then birr to the mother'" Saheeh - as-Saheehah (2799)
Chapter 3: Birr to the father
5/5 From Abu Hurayra who said, "It was said, 'O Messenger of Allaah (SAW), who is most deserving of my birr?' He replied, 'your mother'. He said, 'then who?' He replied, 'your mother.' He said, 'then who?' He said, 'your mother.' He said, 'then who?' He replied, 'your father'" Saheeh, al-Irwaa (837), ad-Da'eefah (under no 4992)
Chapter 4: Gentle words to the parents
6/8 from Taysala bin Mayyaas who said, "I was with the Najadaat (a group of the Hururiyyah) and I committed a sin which I regarded to be Major, so I mentioned this to Ibn Umar. He said, 'what sin is it?' I said, 'this and this.' He said, 'this is not from the Major sins, the major sins are nine: "Associating partners with Allaah, killing a soul, fleeing from the advancing army, to accuse a chaste woman, Eating Ribaa, Eating the property of an orphan, to apostasize in the mosque, the one who ridicules/derides others, and making the parents cry due to disobedience to them."
Ibn Umar said to me, 'Do you fear the fire and wish to enter the Paradise?' I said, 'of course, by Allaah!' He said, 'are your parents alive?' I said, 'I have a mother.' He said, 'then by Allaah! If you were to speak gently to her and feed her, you would certainly enter paradise, as long as you stay away from the Major sins.'" Saheeh, as-Saheehah (2898)
7/9 From Urwa who said about the verse, "And lower for them the wings of humility out of mercy" - 'Do not prevent them from anything that they love.' Saheeh Isnaad
Chapter 5: Repaying the Parents
8/10 From Abu Hurayra from the Prophet (SAW) that he said, "The son can never repay his parent. Except that he finds him a slave, then buys him and sets him free." Saheeh, Irwaa (1747)
9/11 From Abu Buraidah that he was with Ibn Umar and a Yemeni man was making tawaaf of the House carrying his mother on his back saying, "I am her humble camel where her camel would have gotten frightened I will not"
Then he said, 'O Ibn Umar! Do you think that I have repaid her?' He said, 'no, not even a for a single moan that escaped her during child birth.'
Then Ibn Umar made tawaaf of the house, then came to the Station (of Abraham) and prayed two rak'ahs. Then he said, 'O ibn Abu Musa! Indeed every two rak'ahs expiate what came before them.' Saheeh Isnaad
10/13 From Abdullaah bin Umar who said, " A man came to the Prophet (SAW) to give him the bay'ah for hijrah, and he left his parents crying. So the Prophet said, 'return to your parents and make them laugh as you have made them cry'" Saheeh, at-Ta'leeq ar-Ragheeb (3/213)
Chapter 6: Disobedience to parents
12/15 From Abu Bakra who said, "The Messenger of Allaah (SAW) said, 'shall I not inform you of the greatest of the major sins?' [three times] They said, 'of course O Messenger of Allaah!' He said, 'Associating partners with Allaah, Disobedience to the parents - then he sat, reclining - and the false statement.' He kept repeating them until I said, 'if only he would stop'" Saheeh, Ghaayatul Maraam (277)
Chapter 7: Allaah curses the one who curses his parents.
13/17 From Abu at-Tufail who said, "Ali was asked, 'did the Prophet (SAW) favour you with something that he did not favour for the rest of the people?' He said, 'the Prophet (SAW) did not favour anything for us that he did not favour for the people, except for what is in the hilt of my sword.' Then he removed a piece of paper and written on it was, 'Allaah curses the one who slaughters for the sake of other than Allaah. Allaah curses the one who steals the boundary posts of the land (in order to make his plot of land bigger). Allaah curses the one who curses his parents. Allaah curses the one who aids the one who does Bid'ah (Innovator).'" Saheeh, al-Mishkaat (4070)
Chapter 8: Birr is for the parents in those matters that do not involve disobedience (to Allaah)
14/18 From Abu ad-Dardaa who said, "The Messenger (SAW) enjoined me with 9 things: Do not associate anything with Allaah, even if you are cut into pieces or burned. And never leave the obligatory prayers deliberately, and the one that leaves them deliberately becomes absolved of protection. And do not drink alcohol for it is the door to all evil. And obey your parents, and if they command you to leave your worldly possessions then do so for them. And do not dispute/contend with the leader of the Muslims, even if you think you are right, and do not flee from the advancing army, even if you are destroyed and your companions flee. And spend of your property on your family. And never raise your stick against your family. And fill them with the fear of Allaah." Saheeh, Irwaa (2026)
15/20 From Abdullaah bin Umar who said, "A man came to the Prophet (SAW) intending to go on jihaad. So he said, 'are your parents alive?' He said, 'yes.' So he said, 'your jihaad is with them.'" Saheeh, Irwaa (1199)
Chapter 9: The one whose parents attain old age and he does not enter paradise
16/21 From Abu Hurayra, from the Prophet (SAW) that he said, "May he be disgraced and humiliated, may he be disgraced and humiliated, may he be disgraced and humiliated." They said, "who O Messenger of Allaah?" He said, "the one whose parents attain old age, or one of them, and he enters Hellfire (by not serving them)." Saheeh, at-Ta'leeq ar-Ragheeb (3/215)
Chapter 10: Not seeking forgiveness for ones father who is mushrik
17/23 From Ibn Abbaas, about the saying of Allaah, 'and if one of them, or both of them attain old age during your life, then do not say to them "Uff"' until His saying, 'as they brought me up when I was young' - "this was abrogated (or the meaning was restricted) by the aayah in Surah al-Baraa', 'it is not for the Prophet and the believers that they seek forgiveness for the mushriks, even if they be of the close relations, after it has been made clear to them that they are the Companions of Hell.'" Hasan Isnaad.
Chapter 11: Birr to the parent who is a mushrik
18/24 From Sa'd bin Abee Waqqaas who said, "four verses were revealed with regards to me in the Book of Allaah:
My mother swore that she would not eat and drink until I disassociated myself from Muhammad (SAW), So Allaah revealed. 'and if they endeavour to make you commit shirk with me, of which you have no knowledge, then do not obey them and accompany them in this world in a good way.' I took a sword which I liked, so I said, 'O Messenger of Allaah give me this' so the verse was revealed, 'they ask you about the spoils of War', I became sick so the Messenger of Allaah (SAW) visited me. So I said, 'O Messenger of Allaah! I intend to divide my property, shall I give a half away (in charity)?' He said, 'no.' So I said, 'a third?' and he remained silent. And afterwards a third was made permissible, I drank alcohol with a group of the Ansaar, and then a man amongst them struck me on my nose at a place called Lahya Jamal. So I went to the Prophet (SAW) and Allaah revealed the verse with regards to the prohibition of alcohol." Saheeh, al-Mishkaat (3072)
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